Facing Death and Illness

From the people who leave messages on Caroline Mathers’s Facebook to Van Houten’s descent into an alcoholic hermit, John Green gives varied depictions of how people react to mortality. Death and illness are constant threats in the characters’ lives, but none of them approach these subjects in quite the same way. Through these varied responses, Green seems to be suggesting that there is no one way to deal with illness and death, rather that the best way to react is what makes the individual feel the most comforted.

Gus reacts to his own mortality by dreaming up grand futures for himself and grand gestures for those in his life. He uses his own Make-A-Wish to take Hazel to meet Van Houten and, in his typical, grandiose manner, stages an elaborate reveal to tell Hazel about this (84-90). His biggest wish is to be a hero and leave his mark on the world. In the end, he does leave a mark, however it is not necessarily how he had intended. In his notes for Hazel’s eulogy Gus writes about his desire to leave a mark on the world, although he knows it will most likely be a scar- as most humans leave scars. His everlasting mark on the universe is the “scar” he leaves on Hazel in the process of loving her and dying (313).

Hazel’s parents react differently to their daughter’s illness. Hazel’s father is very emotional and cries a lot, according to Hazel (99), while her mother puts on a tougher façade for most of the novel. She dedicates her life to learning about Hazel’s disease and caring for her. When she does get emotional, she does so when she believes Hazel cannot see or hear her: “Mom sobbed something into Dad’s chest that I wish I hadn’t heard, and that I hope she never finds out that I did hear. She said, ‘I won’t be a mom anymore.’ It gutted me pretty badly” (117). Her mother wants to protect Hazel as best as she can and her whole identity seems to be wrapped up in taking care of Hazel, although Hazel is very relieved and proud to find that her mother has been taking classes to become a social worker (298).

Hazel’s instinct is to push everyone but her family away, and the only reason she doesn’t push them away is because they are “too invested” (99). She refers to herself as a “grenade” multiple times and tries desperately to keep Gus from falling in love with her to spare him any pain. When Gus first tries to touch Hazel she tenses up because she feels that being with him would be “an act of violence against him” (101). While Hazel grows and begins to allow Gus into her life, she is still more concerned with the damage she will leave when she dies as she feels the need to ensure that her parents won’t split after she dies (299). The final words of the novel, however, demonstrate that Hazel has accepted the damage that has been done to her and the damage she will inevitably do to others.