Throughout The Fault
in Our Stars Hazel is constantly worried about the people around her and
how they will get by when she is gone, referring to herself as a “grenade”
constantly. I find it ironic that Hazel is so concerned about being a grenade
to others, when she in the end gets hit by the grenade named Augustus. She is
specifically worried about her mother and whether or not she will be a “mother”
after she dies. Because of her concerns for others after her death, Hazel tries
to distance herself from loved ones, and even though this may seem logical, I
don’t think it has the affect Hazel wants. Augustus proves this by saying, “’you
realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my affection
for you”’ (122).
I agree with her quote that “Funerals, I had decided, are
for the living” (273). People go to funerals to help with their suffering, to
be around others that are suffering because of the loss of the loved one so
that they can all support each other, but I have never thought about it from
Hazel’s eyes, about worrying about others. This is probably because of the fact
that I don’t have a known short timeline for my life, but it does make me think
about the differences I can make in this world, and how I will leave it when I
will die.
To me, suffering is an obvious side of effect of the death
of a loved one. One question I have, especially with the role side effects
plays in the novel, is suffering after a loved one’s death another side effect
of death (the sufferer’s death that inevitably will come in the future).
I think that your idea that suffering may be another side effect of death is very true. No matter how expected or unexpected an individual’s death may be they will always be leaving behind some form of suffering. As John green puts it, “that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt” (60). In this life we get to choose who we hurt and who we get hurt by, but I believe this is not something which we should let dictate how we live our lives. We cannot go around living in fear that the people we love are going to leave us, for this does not allow us to fully love. Everyone is hurt throughout their lifetimes, but it is the individual’s choice who they will hurt and be hurt by. If you truly love someone their death will not change that, you will continue to love them after they are gone. Losing someone hurts, but loving someone helps to fill the hole in your heart that they leave behind. I understand Hazel’s concern that she does not want to hurt any more people than necessary, but in the end she realizes that love does not necessarily outweigh pain, but dull it. As she says in her eulogy at Gus’ pre-funeral, “I wouldn’t trade it for the world” (260).
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